Fashion wrap to come, but first, a few comments on the show. It was wonderful even though it ran 3 and a half hours. The Hugh Jackman opening-on-a-budget was funny and a bit surprising, as Jackman was totally unknown to me. The best parts were the actor awards, where prior winners gave personal tributes to the nominees. We got verklempt. Foodwise, it was an Oscars to remember as Clare made her special mac and cheese.
My fashion commentary is based on the
Yahoo oscars fashion report. Please open that in a separate window and follow along. I have three grades: honors, pass, and fail.
Angelina Jolie, honors. The "best in show" of the night, AJ put it all together in one super-star red carpet look. Understated emerald earrings and cocktail ring highlighted a black strapless cocktail gown that showed a hint of leg.
Miley Cyrus, pass. Miley is in a difficult situation, being too young to pull off dressing sexy, but too much of a star to dress like the average prom queen. Her solution was to go out of box for something resembling a christmas tree made out of aluminum foil. It was not awful, rather, it was fun to see. So you other critics, lay off her as she's still just a kid.
Kate Winslet, pass. Kate Winslet is best actress this year. Everyone knew that, including Time magazine, who announced this on their cover prior to the Oscars. She put on a dignified appearance, transitioning from the sexy starlet look of former years. The gun metal grey gown was beautiful, but yelled out "don't go all Meryl Streep on us just yet."
Mickey Rourke, fail. I am always a bit in awe of those who insist upon being themselves, regardless of where they are (yes, I'm thinking of you Johnny Depp and Alexander Calder). Mickey was just being Mickey. Liked the boots.
Marisa Tomei, honors. Marisa looked as good as Marisa can look. The Versace satin gown flattered her form while dazzling onlookers with pleated complexity. Perfect hair, jewelry, and makeup complimented the look. Good to know MT has still got it, as in prior award shows, it seemed as if she wasn't even trying.
Beyonce, fail. She failed not just because the bottom of the dress looked like some really bad curtains, but because the dress made her look fat. Not sure if anything could save this look, but a touch of jewelry might have distracted us.
Anne Hathaway, honors. White, tight, and shiny. Miss Hathaway has the most amazing face with features that are just too big, but somehow combine to render beauty. This dress was a pedestal for all that. She did not appear busty (but she is), consequently the look was not afflicted with any distractions.
Vanessa Hudgens, fail. This dress looked cheap to me, both in fabric and in execution, particularly the bottom. The flowers seemed to be a mess. Otherwise, from the shoulders up, Vanessa looked great.
Zac Eftron, fail. The tux was standard issue and the collar did not seem to fit. Spring for some nice studs next time.
Jennifer Aniston, pass. The Valentino gown was beautiful, well fitted, and had nice bead work. But the braid across over the forehead and limp locks made me think she wasn't too jazzed about the Oscar's this year.
Heidi Klum, honors. Nixon said, "if the President does it, then it's not illegal". And so it goes with Heidi, if she wears it, it can't be bad. Heidi is from the world of fashion, not Hollywood, and rules are different. It is not enough that she be simply beautiful, which happens without breaking a sweat. She must dazzle. Perched on red satin open-toed stilettos, she dazzled us with an origami-inspired red asymmetric Jane Jetson masterpiece, complete with train. Someday the other critics will agree.
Meryl Streep, pass. The job here is to dress so that people will know you're going to an awards show. Mission accomplished. Next year, consider a diamond necklace. You'll look great.
Hugh Jackman, honors. Crisp, clean, well-fitted, shoes shined. Above all, everything was in the correct proportions.
Freida Pinto, fail. I wanted to like this dress but there was something about it that wouldn't let me. Finally it hit me. Her mother should be wearing it. Freida is a young beautiful woman and this dress does not match that reality. The ornamented left sleeve says "I should be covering up an arm that needs covering up."
Sophia Loren, fail. This dress is so bad, the worst of all the season's award shows, that it deserves a special place of honor. Ms. Loren is 74 years old, and that she would go out in public in such a tight, boob revealing, flouncy thing is amazing. Unfortunately, no woman of any age would look good in this monstrosity. My suggestion is that she be buried in it. Nice diamond choker though.
Brad Pitt, pass. Mr. Pitt looked good, however, I expect a bit of cuff to show.
Taraji P. Henson, honors. The white mummy-like strapless gown with train flattered her figure without suggesting a wedding. The rather heavy necklace was unnecessary but did not detract from the overall look.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, fail. Black on black on black on black with a black skull cap is not a good look for anyone who can pose for the Ab Lounger "before" pictures.
Halle Berry, honors. If you are going to do a black strapless column mermaid dress, Halle shows you how. The gold brocade texture and diagonal stripes make this a winner.
Reese Withespoon, fail. The asymmetry of this dress of this dress did not work, as it leads the eye nowhere and fails to flatter an otherwise beautiful body. The mismatched color patterns on the bottom look like a mistake.
Jessica Beil, pass. Take off the strange floppy bow from this white satin strapless gown and we may have something. The dress is not a disaster, but it does not flatter her figure, which in Ms. Beil's case, is considerable.
Penelope Cruz, honors. A beautiful dreamlike vintage wedding dress for the ages, only we are not at a wedding. None the less, I am so happy we got to see Ms. Cruz in this wonderful work.
Whoopi Goldberg, pass. Ms. Goldberg also belongs to the club that enjoys their own personal set of rules. On anyone else, this leopard print mu mu-like flesh cover er would be outrageous, but on a smiling Whoopi decked in shades, it works.
Amy Adams, fail. Ms. Adams is adorable and one of my favorite celebrities, but I just don't like this dress. For starters, the color is wrong for her hair. The geometric upper is distracting. And the necklace looks like a yoke from King Tut's tomb. Amy, please ask me next time, I'll steer your right, I promise.
Nicole Kidman, fail. A white strapless column gown with applied feathers. The texture of the gown is pleasing, but the feathers are a huge distraction. Hair was a bit amiss. From the shoulders to the forehead, Nicole is otherwise flawless.
Queen Latifah, fail. The black single strapped gown with applied white beading could have done without the wispy see through train, which makes it look like costume.
Josh Brolin and
Diane Lane, pass. Josh looks smart in his tux-with-a-regular-old-tie. As I require, the cuffs are peeking out. I am hoping that that civil-war-general facial hair arrangement is for a role. Ms. Lane is gorgeous in a black strapless tight fitting gown with a bit of fringe. Unfortunately, her hair looks as if she has just done a few laps with Dara Torres.
Virginia Madsen, pass. Ms. Madsen looked beautiful in a red strapless gown with an angular asymmetric upper part. The matching belt appears out of place as it is too informal for the gown. The dangling over sized diamond-shaped earrings are killer.
Natalie Portman, pass. When Ms. Portman was presenting on TV, this gown looked fantastic, perhaps because we could only see the upper part, strapless and symmetrical with multicolor bead inlays. The bottom portion is a simple stretch of boring fabric, hiding everything.
Daniel Craig, pass. James Bond in a tux, as expected.
Evan Rachel Wood, honors. Ms. Wood's strapless off-white gown provide interest from top to bottom. The color was not that far off from her skin tone, however, in normal (non-TV) lighting, the contrast would be much greater. Color comes from hair, eyes, lips, and nails, yielding an elegant look. Well done.
Adrian Brody, fail. Looking a little bit like someone on the way to pick up their prom date. Next time, go for a jacket with contrasting lapels and cuffs that show a bit.
Sarah Jessica Parker, fail. SJP, what is going on with those boobs? The "almost mint" dress is fit for a princess, but with that bust, you come across as a housewife from Orange county. The belt is also too informal.
Viola Davis, honors. The iridescent gold halter dress flattered her figure and stood out on the red carpet. But the double white bracelets should have been left at home.
Amanda Seyfried, fail. This thin strapped red dress with the huge bow in front was just too heavy. Combined with some not so glamorous strappy sandals and an unnecessary necklace, we have the misfortune of a pretty young girl dressed badly.
Sean Penn, honors. Mr. Penn shows us that black on black can work if you leave the vest and skull cap at home, the jacket fits well, and you use texture for contrast. Robin Wright Penn is beautiful, even if she could be on her way to performing with the Philharmonic.
Tilda Swinton, fail. Ms. Swinton has always appeared to me as beautiful so I wonder why she swaddles herself in beige and black bunting. The matching ring brackets on each wrist appear too informal.
Alica Keys, pass. A strapless chiffon gown of similar color to Ms. Portman, keys simple look works because she is a beautiful young woman. The flowing over-the-shoulder hair looks good.
Robert Downey Jr., honors. A crisp and well fitting tux.
Marion Cottilard, pass. A strapless dress with blue beading, Ms. Cottilard is saved by the layering of the bottom, which suggests a mini dress that has been converted to a gown.
Tina Fey, honors. On television, Ms. Fey looked statuesque in an off white halter top gown. No nerd girl ever looked so good.
Melissa Leo, fail. If Ms. Loren had not attended, Ms. Leo would get my vote as worst dressed of the evening. It appears she thought she was attending a Renaissance Faire. A completely unflattering garment.
Robert Pattinson, pass. Hey, it fits great.
Bridget Fonda, fail. The entire look was too informal and not appropriate for the red carpet.
Melissa George, fail. I give Ms. George an A for effort in going with a strapless, tight, mermaid dress, however, the upper part looks like a girdle and the lower part looks like a tutu. From the shoulders up, she is gorgeous.
Leslie Mann, fail. This dress is all about the mirrored fabric, but for Ms. Mann, it should have been about tummy control.
James Franco, pass. A bit plain and no cuffs showing, but he didn't embarass himself.
Phoebe Cates, fail. Ms. Cates, like Ms. Pinto, is wearing a gown that is more suited to an older woman. Add that to boring hair and makeup and we have a red carpet bomb.
Maria Menounos, pass. The grey color is not my favorie but the heavy ornamentation of the bottom saves this strapless gown. Would have preferred fewer lines running through the tummmy. Love the hair, makeup, and lack of jewelry.
Lisa Rinna, fail. In the photo, I am seeing, nips, which is just nasty on the red carpet. The thin halter purple gown is uninspired.
Guiliana Rancic, fail. Is it me, or is this woman pregnant? If yes, then I give her a pass, otherwise, this dress makes her look pregnant. The asymetric strap is a distraction.
And so ends another fashion wrap. See you on the red carpet!!!